Mini meditations and moving forward!

I like the idea that life moves forward in my comfort zone. Or if I'm going to be challenged, in ways that invigorate me without actually scaring me. No such luck. Well, life does move forward - whether I join the party or not. One of the lessons is patience with the overall flow. I'm learning - or perhaps, more accurately, re-learning - to take mistakes, hurts, and fears less personally and to live in the reality of the moment. I'd been allowing my feelings around a personal challenge to take over too much of my life, as evidenced by my inability to enjoy a Saturday in nature with a friend without being distracted by worry.

On Monday, I meditated while riding the bus home from work - about a half hour. I could feel my nerves calm! When I arrived home, I had some tasks I wanted to complete before bed. Often I look at a list of tasks as something to dread, resent, and rush through. This time I meditated before each task long enough to feel my nerves calm - typically 2-3 minutes - then began the task at hand while reminding myself aloud, "We're only" washing dishes, bathing the dog, or whatever. Whenever I felt my patience run thin or nerves fray, I stopped for another "mini meditation." I noticed that I completed the tasks with attention, enjoyment, patience, and vigor (and as my dad might say, not "half ass") and, despite the frequent breaks, was willing to work all evening and accomplish much.

On Tusday, I meditated on the way to work. Before 9:00 a.m., I'd thought of a way to move forward on the personal challenge in a way that regret, worry, and fear could not produce. I felt pride and got right to work!

I like to call life a bunny hop - two steps back and three forward. Tonight J sent a text and asked me to let her know when the dishes were done. I washed the dishes but without a mini meditation first and hence, no real focus. Not long after J arrived home, I heard water running in the kitchen. "Hmm. Oh crap, she is re-washing the dishes, and she doesn't look happy." Too late to meditate before the dishes. But I meditated so I wouldn't over-react to her feelings. I wonder how long I'll need to meditate before deciding whether to propose she read today's post.