Bipolar Disorder: Variation on a theme and then some

Disorders

• ·      The most recent diagnosis – Bipolar Disorder – coupled with two psychiatric hospital stays (the first to get me stable enough to re-board the plane as I was relocating to my original home state; the second for identification of a diagnosis and to begin treatment) and preceded by three progressively bold delusional (manic) episodes, caught my attention.
• ·       A year ago, informed that ADD (Adult Attention Disorder without the hyperactive) applied to me, I set out to find out what that may mean for me without allowing a diagnosis to limit my dreams. I also grieved the loss of decades challenged by unidentified ADD.
• ·       For a decade or more, I have been treated for hypothyroidism. My strained thyroid was noticed when I gained 40 pounds in 4-6 weeks (normally I’m lean and my weight fluctuates by only 3-5 pounds) after my thyroid “burnt out” (an assumption shared by my M.D. at the time).
• ·       For several years I’ve also been treated medically for anxiety. Growing in seriousness to match an increase in adult responsibilities, anxiety has been with me for as long as I can remember. At the beginning, it accompanied significant events, happy and sad alike, but soon was associated with frightful events only. I’ve long associated anxiety with scary events, but I’m left to wonder how many potentially happy events from which I’ve self diverted and how I might remedy those situations.

Medications

• ·        I am loathe to take medications; natural remedies strike me as the logical choice. As mentioned, Bipolar Disorder caught my attention, so without hesitation I now take one medication to reduce mania, one to balance my mood, and a third that helps with anxiety, nausea, sleep, and pain. If Bipolar Disporder wasn’t identified and treated soon, alcohol abuse was looming as a conscious option of last resort, although I am a light drinker (my dad teases me for tossing a beer that I’ve nursed all day). For several months, I took an ADD medication that now is ceased. For a decade or so, I’ve taken thyroid hormone to keep me at a natural level. And I’ve taken various forms of anti-anxiety medications for several years; prior to that time, Vitamin B-12 (and later, B Complex) was identified accurately as a help. Dairy products are my lifelong means of self-medication (a glass of whole milk sits next to me as I write); the body knows, so recently I’ve added a healthy dose of Vitamin D to my daily supplements.

Bipolar Disorder: Two Differences

• ·         One difference, this time I find myself challenged with reading and writing; my concentration is challenged in a way I’ve never before experienced. I must say, I’m frightened as I search for reliable explanation(s). An old standby, voracious research, doesn’t seem an option for now. As mentioned, my ability to concentrate on written materials is hampered. Although I can organize my thoughts, albeit a bit more slowly than formerly, I am challenged in organizing the words that appear on the page.
• ·         A second difference I call “part of the humor of bipolar disorder.” This time one of the medications seems to slow down the pace at which I can talk, think, and act. In the past, mindfulness and other approaches recommended one task at a time. Something tells me to take seriously this message.