But I'm so smart!

From what I've read from reliable sources, it's common that adult women with ADD have high intelligence. I'm left wondering whether high intelligence is common for women with ADD generally or if it takes a highly intelligent and persistent woman to finally get labeled (I reject the term, "diagnosed") with ADD at middle age.

When I called my mom to tell her that I was being "treated" for ADD, her immediate response: "But you did so well in school." Hence one reason that adults in my life missed knowing that ADD might apply to me is because I'm book smart and, as a child, compliant.

I was reading by age three and considering which college to attend by age four. As long as I can remember, I've received accolades for being smart; it's a strength I enjoy and upon which I self identify.

Like any strength, intelligence can be over-utilized at the expense of other strategies in life. Social conventions, for instance, often confuse or slip past me, unless a book or friend convinces me to my satisfaction that I might care, describes in detail the nuances involved, and then helps me practice and provides feedback as I learn.

Sometimes I confuse experience with an ability to learn patiently. Let's say I don't know how to change the punctured tube for my bicycle. My perception that I should already know this skill can interfere with a willingness to be creative in finding out how. My assumption that it must be quick and easy (because it is for those who already know how) interferes with my willingness to be patient in learning. And if I overlook steps or am missing appropriate tools ... well, forget it!

Sometimes I under-estimate what's involved in reaching a goal. "How hard can it be?" Oh, realizing that I need to shop for groceries before I can cook a meal is insufficient. I need to know what ingredients work well together, remember or note what ingredients I have on hand so I can purchase the others, and begin making the meal before I'm hungry and ready to eat.

Now that ADD has been discovered as relevant to me, I see that it's been a lifelong challenge. Of course, I've only lived life as me, so honestly it's possible that I can be confusing consequences from ADD with other factors. But isn't that what my life is for? Learning about myself and the world for the purpose of living here more mindfully.